Well, it's 1:15 p.m. on Tuesday December 30th.
There are only 1 and a half days left in 2008. This year really has been absolutely incredible and I'm totally looking forward to 2009.
In my life, I have been "obsessed" with my body image since I can remember. I've lost weight - I've gained weight - lost it again and gained it...AGAIN!
A year and a half ago - in October of 2007 - I was diagnosed with "Insulin Resistance" - which basically means that my body turns sugar straight into fat and it's incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to lose weight.
Again, I've lost weight and gained it so many times in my life I've lost track. :(
As of today I am 5'8" and weigh around 192 lbs. I would LOVE to lose 20 pounds and just stay at 170 pounds for the rest of my life. That would be fantastic!!!
And some may say that 20 pounds isn't a lot, especially since I've done it before (shoot, I've lost a total of 60 before!!!) - but now that I'm IR it's close to impossible.
Plus - in all honesty - I'm just not as "obsessive" as I used to be about eating right and exercising. Now, don't get me wrong, I DO still try to "eat right" - and it's NOT like I pig out - but I think it's more the fact that I've just gotten so frustrated over ALWAYS eating right and ALWAYS exercising and seeing little to no results that I've almost given up.
Plus - I know that before it was always about losing weight to find happiness / find a boyfriend, etc...and I know that's NOT the right reason for losing weight - but that was the main reason I always dieted...and now - well, I've finally found the most incredible man EVER who doesn't mind a pound or two extra on me and doesn't make it a big deal at all.
In fact, we just bought a house together and our wedding is June 26th, 2010.
I don't wanna say I've gotten lazy and I don't need to care about my weight anymore - but sometimes I feel like that - and I HATE that! But - again - it seems to me that life has much more important things now. My fiance, our house, the wedding, my job, etc... :)
But. This blog. Why I'm here. I'm here because I DO want to lose those 20 pounds and keep them off. PLUS - the medication I'm on FOR the Insulin Resistance - well whenever I eat a VERY high carb meal, I get "sick" and I am sooo sick and tired of GETTING sick! I'm really not supposed to eat (bad) carbs and I need to re-adjust my lifestyle so that I'm NOT eating bad carbs anymore.
Last year I did follow the weight watchers CORE plan, which worked for me. I went from 197 (which is where I got up to again after having been down to 160 three years ago on the weight watchers POINTs program...) - but I went from 197 down to 180 and then I stopped going to the gym and stopped eating "right" and I've gained back 12 pounds again.
up and down and up and down. that is my life. :(
My wedding is in a year and a half though and damnit - i WILL wear a smaller size wedding dress than i've already tried on! you know?
oh well - i'll be back on here sporadically to talk about things and update my progress.