May 2009...

Ok - so I haven't blogged here in a while - just had TONS of things going on. I AM however still going VERY strong low-carb wise. I have weighed in now for 5 weeks straight at 175. Don't get me wrong, that's AWESOME - but also a little frustrating....of course, though - I also have NOT been exercising at all. Seriously just been VERY busy.

This morning, however, the scale dropped to 173!!!!! I can't believe it! I am ONLY 4 pounds away from 169!!!!! My clothes are starting to be soooo loose that I'm going to seriously need to start some shopping soon. I have my "skinny" pair of jeans that fit - but all my other jeans, I HAVE to wear with a belt. I'm down to about a size 12 right now (13 in juniors) and my 17's in juniors - I absolutely can't wear unless I have a belt on - and I'm ONLY wearing them because I don't have the money to go buy new jeans... :P

I can not express enough - though - how much low carb has saved my life. seriously. It's funny because a year ago if you'd have told me to go on atkins I'd have laughed at you...and in fact I DID laugh at the thought because my doctor is the one who TOLD me to do atkins. I didn't believe her - I mean after all - YEARS of low-fat dieting is what had been screamed into my brain and it's what EVERYONE out "there" says to do - that low-fat is the "only" way to go and that low carb is "bad" for you...

I have finally gotten to the point, though, that it's like - well..."they" have always said, "eat less, move more" meaning eat low fat and exercise like crazy in order to lose weight. I did that and yes, it works, but it's NOT sustainable...and if you're NOT eating low-fat and exercising like crazy, your body just gains it right back.

So I've started to think - maybe "they" WERE wrong! What the mainstream has always boraged us with has NOT worked - and finally I did what "they" said was "bad" and yet it's WORKING!!!!!!

Seriously - WTF is up with that? "Maybe it's all been a big fat lie"...there's no MAYBE to that. It HAS been a big fat lie!

Granted, 5 weeks now I've been the same weight, but I've NOT been exercising like I used to - and I'm eating REAL FOOD with omg, dare I say it - FAT content like i've never eaten before...but I'm NOT eating bread, grains, sugar, etc...and ya know what? I've MAINTAINED that weight! It hasn't flucutated at all! Until this morning when it went DOWN!

Now - do I miss sugar? Abso-freakin-lutely I do! I'm human...for the first 29 years of my life I LOVED sugary foods. Dan went to go get me dinner last night and he stopped off at dairy queen for himself...I had litterally ONE taste of his ice cream and yes, part of me wanted to eat his entire treat....it was like heaven in my mouth. But I said NO. I would NOT do it because it's not that that's a "bad" food...but it's because now I know WHY I can't have ice cream. Instead of just saying, "nope - can't have ice cream, it's 'bad'"...now I know that if I eat sugar it raises my insulin which in turn keeps me fat. And I've OBSESSED over my weight long enough to finally realize that THAT'S the key.

Plus, I'm NOT obsessing over losing weight like I used to. I think - in all honesty - THIS is what I'm talking about when I say that "low carb has saved my life". Mentally it's just AWESOME that I don't obsess over dieting like I used to. It honestly feels AMAZING to focus my energy on other things.

AND - the absolute best thing? I KNOW that by June of next year - my wedding - I WILL WEIGH 160 POUNDS OR LESS!!!!!!!!!!!

That just almost seems foreign to me since, well after the first time I got down to that weight on weight watchers - it just kept coming back no matter what I did. But the difference is now - I know WHY I need to do low-carb. I also know that I CAN "indulge" once in a blue moon - but that I CAN'T do it every day or even every week for that matter.

I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO EAT! :)